I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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