i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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