come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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