Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize