I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
She made me pour olive oil on her.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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