The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
