if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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