I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
