I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
