found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
