Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize