Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
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