She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
