Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
