We won't sleep together?
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Randomize
