You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
