I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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