If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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