This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
