well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
All I want is dick and wine.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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