I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
