I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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