He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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