He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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