I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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