i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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