You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
jump out the window naked night went bad
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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