dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
