So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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