Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
