I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
