I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
