Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
