Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
