Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
