I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Alive.
So much puke
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
