Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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