Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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