If i come over, it means nothing
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
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