someone owes me an orgasm
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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