he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
