Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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