i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
