I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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