Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
