Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
