This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
