nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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