So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
