We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
