I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize