So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
