So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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