Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
