i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
