I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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